Relationships and Money | The Dilemma | Scary Mommy

Relationships and Money | The Dilemma | Scary Mommy


– Yeah I haven’t used cash since 1996. – If I use cash it’s
gone within 15 seconds. Like I have all of this money. And I can just spread it around. I’m very generous, very loving, and then I have zero cash. – I even now use my Apple
Pay more than anything else. – You have no idea what you’re spending. (laughing) You don’t know. – To use cash it helps you not overspend because you can tangibly
see how much money you have. – Cash don’t have points you know. – When I was a bartender I
shopped in cash exclusively. Why is that funny? – I didn’t even know how
to do the chip thing. I mean you know the cashier’s like, turns the thing around. – That’s an insane question. – Never. Wholeheartedly hide it. – You should always tell your
partner how much you spend. Always. – There should be no taboos
about finance and spending. – Always be transparent
about where the money goes. – You shouldn’t have to ask for permission to spend money. I can’t imagine you being like sorry. – Well, I don’t know, when
it comes to relationships I don’t think there’s
a right or wrong way. – You tell them how much you spent and you do it unapologetically. – Wow. – I don’t know if it works.
– It doesn’t. (laughing) – Say if I’m a stay at home mom right? And then dad is making all the money. And you know I have bad spending habits. – Yeah. – That sounds like I need
to be put on timeout. I need to ask permission right? – I had gone shopping once
with one of my daughters and this stays between us, like the change stays, you know girl code and I stuck it in my pocket. She was like, “that’s stealing. You can’t do that, you
have to give that change back to dad.” I’m like, “no, no, you’ll
learn as you get older, you never bring the change home.” – There’s a difference
between like we’ve budgeted. I think relationships need
that sort of communication. But like in your example
as a stay at home mom are you then bringing out the spreadsheet for how much unpaid labor you’re doing? – Do you have a shared bank account? – Yes. – Would he ever check? – Well I like to do cash.
– No trail. – Yeah. – You spent that much? Yes. Yes and I’ll do it tomorrow. – You’re washing the clothes, you’re washing the dishes,
you’re washing the floor, you’re watching the baby, you’re doing all, like
that’s monetary time that you’re not being compensated for. I really feel strongly about this. – Yeah I know. – My dad said that his
mother had three prices for things she bought. What she told my grandfather she paid, what she actually paid, and what she told guests that she paid. – That’s incredible. – You’re in a relationship
and I’m over here single like huh, sounds cool. And we will just have
to agree to disagree. – Just have to agree to
disagree on this one. And that’s fine. – That’s so weird ’cause
that happened this week. That exact amount. I didn’t tell him.
(laughing) – Well, now we’re in debt. – I spent a little too much money. – Why would I tell him? – I spent $100. – I hope you enjoyed
your favorite cocktail that I made. – Just kidding, I spent two. – Your favorite dinner
that I just cooked for you. – I spent $475 dollars. – $474. – Hmm, what? – I’m not telling him.
(laughing) – They don’t need to know. – Women have to have
secrets from their husbands. – I am heated up over the
weirdest things today. It is, it’s terrifying honestly. (laughing)

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